During our goal planning session, discussed on this post, Uriah and I decided we need to make a few changes; to work on our business instead of just in our business. This particular goal had several subsets of tasks related to it, one of which was hiring an intern, and another was devoting time to learning. Effective negotiating was the first subject we felt needed improvement in our business strategy and found this great book on amazon. We actually went with the Audible version, a perfect compromise for busy business owners; now we can “read” on the go!
Key Points On Negotiating … From A Former Hostage Negotiator
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If there’s anything I walked away with after reading Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss, it is this: there is power in listening. Voss was the lead hostage negotiator for the FBI for many years and in his book he shares many thoughts and proven methods which can be beneficial for achieving business and personal goals.
This book is not specific to just real estate – it could help anyone in any industry, even the stay-at-home mom attempting to establish acceptable terms for naptime!
Here are a few key points from the book:
- Despite what we want to think, life is a negotiation. Whether arguing with a toddler, or attempting to get a raise. It is a skill that everyone can benefit from.
“Life is a negotiation.”
- We are all flawed and emotionally driven – which puts us on an equal playing field.
“Without a deep understanding of human psychology, without the acceptance that we are all crazy, irrational, impulsive, emotionally-driven animals, all the raw intelligence and mathematical logic in the world is little help in negotiating.”
- Be a problem solver.
Separate the person and the emotion. Develop a joint problem-solving mindset.
- We all have fears.
We are… “always acting and reacting; first and foremost, from our deeply held, but mostly invisible and incoherent fears, needs, perceptions, and desires.”
- Life skill: be real.
“Fake niceness is death to a good negotiation. Be authentic”
- If your counterpart walks away feeling cheated, you have lost.
… and the last but most important point:
- Listen. People want to be understood: to be heard.
“Listening is the cheapest and #1 concession you can make.”
Sometimes, when thinking of negotiating, I sort of picture the sly used-car salesman in my head “Let’s make a deal”. You don’t trust that person.
In reality, it doesn’t have to be that way. If we genuinely care about the other party, can use active listening and be empathetic, we are actually better for it and so is your counterpart. The best negotiations happen when we allow that authenticity to shine through.
This book has transformed our thinking in business. Hope this review was beneficial!
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